Fake, False, and Phony

Why are people so fake?  Everyone in the church seems so concerned with putting on this air of perfection that they don't seem to be concerned at all with actually living their religion.  They are so concerned with looking like they live their religion that they don't actually do it.  They take the adage "avoid the appearance of evil" that they don't actually concern themselves with not being evil.  When visible defects or sins become less socially acceptable than more deep seated character flaws then something is definitely wrong.

Socially it is unacceptable to appear flawed.  If you aren't always smiling that plasticy smile, then people get all freaked out and avoid you.  If you don't have every sinful behavior under control, then people start to talk about you behind your back and assume that you are "going off the deep end."  If you have any emotions aside from joy, that obviously means that you are sinning or doing something wrong.

What does this end up coming down to?  People will beat themselves up if they don't do everything perfectly.  If they aren't reading their scriptures every day, they feel guilty.  If they have to miss out on a single week of church or any church activity, even if it is due to sickness, travel, or any other reasonable reason, then it is a huge guilt trip for themselves.  If they can't go to the temple every week, then all of the sudden they are the worst person in the world.  However, if they are judgmental, cruel, gossiping, and holier than thou, then it isn't that big of a deal, no one sees or asks about these things.  I have met way too many many hypocritical people that will crucify you for not studying your scriptures for at least 30 minutes a day and will make be disgusted at anything remotely suggestive, but they will turn around and make their roommates' lives hell, they will be racist, sexist, and bigoted in every way possible, and they will never let anything short of perfection go.

I don't think most people even realize how deep this behavior goes.  However, it is everywhere.  When people try so hard to "do what is right" without actually trying to follow the savior that they claim to believe in, it isn't hard to see why most of the world has a hard time calling Mormons Christians.

It is really frustrating to see the fakeness everywhere.  Everyone is false, they don't have a real personality, they don't really share their true feelings, and they try and control themselves in every aspect possible.  This goes to the point of suppression.  This all becomes, in many ways, psychologically damaging.

The craziest part of it all, is that there are actually people that don't feel this way in the middle of the culture, but they are afraid of speaking up and finding others like themselves because they are afraid of being judged.  Others will give them crap if they drop the phony and start being real.

Any group that encourages phony (whether actively or implicitly) has serious issues, and can't be considered a good thing.